Today, my son Matthew turns 11 months old. Soon he will sail past age 1.
I can vividly recall every detail of his birth. The pain Heidi experienced, her emergency c-section, watching him rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit, seeing his bruised body and learning he could have died.
His night in the neonatal intensive care unit was the sickest and most worried I have even been. We choose the name Matthew because it means “Gift from God.”
Our journey together has, at times, been difficult. Prior to his birth, I only had experience with 1 baby. My other son Andrew was laid-back and very,very easy to deal with.
Matthew cried very loudly and often. Everything was difficult with him. I had a very hard time giving him a bottle. We went through about 10 different types before we settled on one that worked. I also had a hard time deciphering if he was tired, hungry or needed something else. He caused more stress that anything else, ever . Many, many, many nights I complained to Heidi about him. Today, I am ashamed I felt that way.
Now, I love being with him and seeing his little teeth when he smiles. He is a beautiful little boy. He is good-natured and tolerates a lot of rough play with his older brother. Matthew is fiercely independent. He is expressive and like to be loud. Even from the start, he has been desperate to walk. He enjoys eating and never cared much for baby food, preferring food with substance that he could chew. He also likes to think he is being smart by throwing some dinner off his high chair to our dog.
On occasion, I have lacked patience with him, and that makes me feel particularly bad. Especially since my Dad was the most patient person I ever knew.
Matthew is a blessing to me. I cant imagine my life without him.